“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than hurt yourself trying to put it back together.” ~Unknown
At this juncture of my life, I grapple with loneliness. Frequently, I sense a profound disconnection from the world and those who inhabit it. Writing this in the early morning’s hush, engulfed by the deafening quiet of an empty apartment, reinforces this truth even more.
The vacant apartment is mine. This circumstance wasn’t part of my envisioned life plan. What was once familiar has transformed. It was the end of last summer when my long-term relationship ended. We embarked on our journey six years ago, stepping into adulthood by moving in together. Initially exciting, the future held promise. It functioned, intermittently, for several respectable years.
Fast forward beyond the good times and occasional joyous holidays, and I confronted the heartbreak of a fractured relationship. The thought of sharing a future with someone I no longer felt connected to was daunting. I could opt to linger in loneliness, superficially tethered to the relationship but emotionally detached deep down. I could await moments of hope, fleeting optimism that things would eventually mend. I might convince myself it’s a mere rough patch, a blip in the grand scheme.
Alternatively, I could confront the truth, acknowledging the glaringly evident: it was over, irreparable, time to move on. For months, my mind wrestled with this decision. The laborious struggle to salvage things seemed destined to be a lifelong endeavor. Neither of us possessed the passion anymore. The conclusion was inevitable: it was time to part ways.
Here’s what I’ve learned about coping with loneliness:
Feel your emotions. When a significant portion of your life vanishes, you’re left exposed and vulnerable. Post-breakup, I encountered unshakable loneliness, which still resurfaces occasionally. I realized masking these sensations—using alcohol or meaningless dates as escapes—only prolongs the pain. I grasped the necessity of embracing loneliness as an authentic emotion. It won’t dissipate easily, regardless of efforts to numb or divert. As you experience emotions, they gradually lighten. Grant them time and space for full expression. Jot down thoughts, discuss them. Acknowledge their existence and their authenticity.
Listen to your own advice. I’ve delved into self-help books over the years, addressing depression, self-esteem, and loneliness. While momentarily comforting, they can’t soothe firsthand emotions felt when you’re alone, disconnected. I’ve learned to cherry-pick advice that suits my mind, body, spirit, discarding the rest. Maybe you’re like me—preferring solitude, a book, film, bath, rather than venturing out to meet people. It’s okay to prioritize self-care, recognizing your pace, your best teacher. When it feels right, step out of your comfort zone.
Realize there’s nothing to fix. The world bustles with busy lives, but we needn’t rush to mend every perceived flaw. While enduring uncomfortable emotions, I understood I needn’t hasten resolution. Loneliness is normal; one of many human emotions. The realization was liberating. No need to search desperately for a solution. I’m not alone in this situation. Why rush to fix something that isn’t truly broken? Embrace detachment, relish newfound introspection, and explore dormant hobbies.
Accept the reality. Accepting my feelings’ validity granted me peace. There’s no immediate problem demanding attention. Life changes, eventually. Current emotions might not mirror those of weeks, months, or years hence. Trust that you’ll find what you seek in due time. For now, experience life fully, including thought-provoking emotions. Accept this as another chapter, enhancing life’s richness.
