“A wise wanderer embraces the journey without being fixated on the destination.” ~Lao Tzu
Around a year ago, I stumbled upon an online course titled “Discover Your Purpose in 15 Minutes.” This discovery happened at a time when I was actively seeking a sense of purpose. It was a phase in my life when I found myself uncertain about the next steps, and without a clear direction, I yearned for fresh motivation to propel me forward.
The online course I came across mirrors a growing trend in society, where there’s a rising emphasis on fulfilling one’s destiny. The pressure, especially from the self-help community, to lead a purpose-driven life has become more palpable. And during times when I struggled to define my destiny, let alone achieve it, I felt a profound sense of inadequacy.
Now, I can’t definitively tell you whether discovering your purpose in just 15 minutes is feasible because I didn’t actually take the course. However, what I can assert is that it’s entirely possible to uncover meaning even in a life that seems devoid of purpose.
The Allure of Purpose Purpose can offer an answer to the question, “Why am I here?” It can furnish you with a sense of direction and a driving force to advance in life.
For some, purpose is found in meaningful work, utilizing their talents to serve the world’s needs. Others discover purpose in nurturing a family, tending to loved ones, or actively participating in their community.
A sense of purpose makes you feel aligned with your rightful path. It instills the belief that you’re carrying out your life’s mission and making a meaningful contribution.
In a world where many of our basic needs are met, it’s no surprise that we’re now seeking deeper fulfillment. When survival isn’t an everyday struggle, it’s only natural to pause and question the greater meaning of it all.
The Pitfalls of Purpose Living a purpose-driven life sounds appealing, and I’m not here to belittle anyone’s purposeful existence. However, I want to remind those who haven’t yet found their purpose that life can hold significance and contentment without it.
The problem with the concept of purpose lies not in having a purpose itself, but in our fervent attachment to discovering it. Engaging in work we love, contributing profoundly to the world, and leaving our mark have become such coveted pursuits that I’ve noticed a profound existential anxiety creeping into conversations with my peers.
For instance, I’ve observed that many of my friends feel restless when they’re uncertain about their next steps or when they question whether their current endeavors are their destined path. I too have grappled with discomfort stemming from the notion that I’m not making significant, world-changing contributions.
As a collective, we seem to believe that if we lack a grand ultimate goal, we’re somehow failing at life. And in this process, we’re missing out on the chance to craft a richly meaningful life without fixating on having a singular purpose.
An Alternative Perspective This is where I propose an alternative viewpoint. Not an alternative to having a purpose, but rather an alternative to the excessive glorification of purpose and the frantic pursuit we’ve embarked upon to discover that one thing that will infuse life with meaning and satisfaction.
I am a firm believer that leading a life imbued with meaning is crucial. Feeling adrift, without any inkling of your purpose on this planet, can leave you unsettled at best and nihilistic at worst. However, instead of anchoring yourself to the search for purpose, I encourage you to anchor yourself to your values.
Personal values act as guiding stars, steering you through life’s journey even when you’re uncertain about your destination. Moreover, they’re considerably easier to uncover than a grand life purpose.
Think about individuals you admire. What values do they embody? Courage, empathy, ambition? Chances are, you admire them not just for their accomplishments, but for their character, which paved the way for those accomplishments. What facets of their character do you aspire to integrate into your own?
Personal values offer you a way to remain connected to what holds significance for you, whether that’s serving others, embodying bravery, or taking full responsibility for your life’s course. Unlike a singular purpose, values empower you to infuse meaning into each present moment, rather than seeking it solely in a singular noble cause.
For instance, if kindness is a value you hold dear, then living through the lens of kindness can transform mundane day-to-day activities into opportunities for benevolence. A mundane job can morph into a playground for practicing kindness. An irritating family member becomes a chance to respond with compassion and thoughtfulness.
My Journey without a Singular Purpose In the past, I navigated life with a constant sense of urgency, perpetually striving to fulfill my life’s mission. I would establish goal after goal, convinced that with each achievement, a sense of purpose would emerge.
However, as I ticked off the conventional milestones, the sense of meaning remained elusive. So, I would set new objectives, convinced that I hadn’t yet uncovered that one thing that would make me feel complete.
When I found myself at a significant crossroads last year, I gradually shifted my focus from uncovering my purpose to infusing meaning into everyday experiences. A year later, I still don’t possess a crystal-clear grasp of my life’s intended purpose, but I’m content to dwell in the unknown for now. To coexist with a sense of purposelessness.
In the interim, I find meaning by nurturing my character through the lens of my values. Currently, I hold courage, tenderness, and depth in high regard, so I leverage everyday challenges and activities to exercise these values.
Tenderness, for instance, guides me to soften my inner self and remain receptive to life even during challenging times. I cultivate this aspect of my character by consistently approaching others with compassion, especially those who challenge me. I also extend tenderness to myself through self-compassion, allowing vulnerability in moments when maintaining a façade of strength isn’t the compassionate choice.
I embrace a life of courage not only by engaging in actions that provoke fear, but also by sincerely tuning into my heart’s desires and expressing my authentic self. Fostering courage has led me to nerve-wracking situations, such as resigning from a job that no longer resonated with me. However, rising to these challenges has fortified me, granting me the fortitude to shape a life that aligns with my true essence.
Lastly, I aspire to cultivate depth in my existence. Instead of scrolling through social media, I invest hours in immersing myself in captivating books. Rather than jet-setting around the globe, I’ve adopted a mission of revisiting beloved destinations repeatedly. Delving into the intricacies of a familiar city, extracting every bit of its essence, provides me with a profound way of traveling that surpasses the allure of short getaways or exotic backpacking escapades.
Cultivating these values has afforded me the opportunity to perceive each moment as a chance for personal growth and character development. While I’m in the process of deciphering the “why” of my existence, my values serve as my guiding compass for the “how.” Unlike a fixed purpose, I can freely experiment with and adjust my set of values to suit my evolving self.
Perhaps one day, I’ll stumble upon my purpose. Alternatively, in my later years, I might look back and realize that I had been living my purpose all along, finally comprehending the essence of it all. But for now, I’m content to observe