“Never let yourself become a victim. Don’t accept anyone else’s version of your life; define it yourself.” ~Harvey Fienstein
Ever feel like bad things are destined to happen, and they’re all aimed at you? You might think you’re the unluckiest person alive. Opportunities fizzle out, doors slam shut, friends let you down, and bosses overlook you. It’s like the universe conspires to keep you stuck where you are.
This feeling might make you believe your life will always be this way. You might see yourself as a failure and doubt happiness is possible. You stress over the lack of control you have to change it.
Sound familiar? Past events may still be haunting you, making you feel helpless, scared, and small. Until you break free from this cycle, these emotions will persist.
My Journey Through Self-Sabotage
Wondering how this works? It’s not a mystery. I’ve been there too. Once upon a time, I was the queen of self-sabotage.
I went from being a top student to dropping out a year before finals. From being cherished to losing touch with family. From self-assured to needy.
What changed? I lost my positive self-view due to external events. A shift at home made me feel disconnected. Criticism eroded my confidence, and losing security made me insecure.
I went from valuing myself to feeling rejected and inferior. A teenager like me couldn’t handle it. I rebelled, and my life spiraled.
I ruined jobs and degrees. I attracted bad relationships. I was playing the victim card.
What Changed and How Can It Change for You?
Rock bottom hit. A bad relationship ended, and I had nothing left. When you hit rock bottom, two choices emerge: give up or say “enough.” Change your thinking and transform your life.
I took the latter. From nothing, I built a happy life—a loving marriage, motherhood, a wonderful home, and a fulfilling career. If I can do it, so can you.
Here are ways I conquered negativity and built self-confidence. If you feel fated to a life of anger and frustration, these steps can guide you too.
“Just Let Go” Isn’t Always Right
People say to let go, but it’s not so simple. These experiences shaped you; denying their impact won’t help. Acknowledge the past, understand its effect, and let it rest there. Make different choices and keep moving forward.
Strength vs. Peace
Being peaceful isn’t always possible after trauma. Acknowledging it, find the strength it gave you. You’ve faced challenges others can’t imagine, making you tough in ways they aren’t. Loss became a source of strength, boosting my confidence and career.
Accept Yourself
You’ve survived despite life’s challenges. You’re strong, even if you don’t feel it. Embrace your survival and choose how you see yourself. A journey to a better life is possible.
Forgiveness: Not Forced, but Acceptance
Forgiving isn’t easy, but holding onto anger hurts you. Accept, acknowledge, and move on. You can’t change the past, but you can shape the future.
Count Your Blessings
Past negativity impacts you, but you’re here, overcoming. Be proud of your strength. Be grateful for your achievements. Be thankful for the lessons that made you tougher.
Empower yourself. Life isn’t fair, but you can level the field. Your past doesn’t define you; you control your destiny. Imagine a life where you embrace positivity, overcome victimhood, and thrive.
The power lies within you. Work through these steps, break your barriers, and step into a brighter future. You’ve endured enough; now, it’s time for better days.
You’ve got this.
