“Unlocking Life’s Meaning: Beyond Plans and Destinations” ~Lao Tzu
Roughly a year ago, I stumbled upon an online course called “Discover Your Purpose in 15 Minutes.” This discovery occurred at a juncture when I actively sought purpose. For the very first time, I found myself uncertain about my next steps, seeking fresh motivation to propel me forward.
This online course I encountered reflects a society increasingly consumed by the quest for fulfilling destinies. The growing pressure, especially from the self-help realm, to lead a purpose-driven life weighs heavily. And as I struggled to uncover my destiny, let alone fulfill it, a sense of inadequacy overwhelmed me.
Now, I can’t definitively vouch for the 15-minute purpose revelation since I never enrolled. However, what I can affirm is that finding meaning in a life seemingly devoid of purpose is entirely achievable.
The Allure of Purpose Purpose furnishes an answer to the question, “Why am I here?” It imparts a sense of direction and propels life forward.
For some, purpose is embedded in meaningful work, channeling skills and talents to serve the world’s needs. Others find purpose in nurturing families, caring for loved ones, or actively engaging with their communities.
Purpose infuses a sense of alignment with one’s destined path. It breeds the belief that you’re fulfilling your life’s mission, contributing to a greater cause.
In a world where basic human needs are largely met, it’s unsurprising that we now seek deeper fulfillment. When survival is not a constant struggle, the natural inclination is to pause and ponder the greater purpose.
The Pitfalls of Purpose Leading a purposeful life holds allure, and I don’t seek to undermine its value. My intention, however, is to remind those still in search of purpose that life can carry meaning and contentment in its absence.
The issue with the notion of purpose lies not in its essence, but in our intense fixation on its discovery. Pursuing work we’re passionate about, contributing in impactful ways, and leaving a legacy have become such revered quests that I often detect deep existential anxieties in conversations with peers.
For instance, many of my friends exhibit angst when faced with uncertainty about their next life steps or when they question whether their current pursuits align with their destined path. I, too, have wrestled with discomfort stemming from the notion that I’m not contributing significantly to the world.
Collectively, it seems that without a grand end-goal, we perceive ourselves as failing at life. Consequently, we overlook the opportunity to craft a meaningful life that doesn’t hinge on a single purpose.
An Alternative Approach This is where I propose an alternative stance. Not against purpose itself, but against the over-glorification and frantic chase to identify the one thing that brings meaning and fulfillment.
I firmly believe in living a life filled with meaning. The restlessness arising from not knowing why you’re on this planet can range from discomfort to nihilism. However, instead of fixating on discovering purpose, I advocate anchoring oneself in values.
Personal values serve as guiding lights, steering you through life’s journey even when destinations are unclear. Moreover, they’re far simpler to identify than a grand life purpose.
Think of people you admire. What values do they embody? Courage, empathy, ambition? Chances are, you admire them not just for achievements, but for the character enabling those accomplishments. What facets of their character do you wish to integrate into your own?
Personal values empower you to remain connected to what truly matters, whether it’s serving others, embodying bravery, or embracing responsibility for your life. Unlike a singular purpose, values inject meaning into each present moment, transcending reliance on a sole noble cause.
For instance, if kindness is a cherished value, living through the lens of kindness can transform everyday activities into kindness opportunities. Mundane jobs become kindness playgrounds, challenging family members become chances for compassion.
My Journey through Purposelessness I used to navigate life urgently, perpetually advancing to fulfill my life’s mission. Goal after goal, I assumed that with each achievement, a sense of purpose would dawn.
Yet, common life milestones failed to bring the sought-after meaningfulness. So, I’d set new targets, convinced that I hadn’t yet discovered the one thing that’d make me whole.
When I stood at a significant crossroads last year, I gradually shifted focus from finding purpose to infusing meaning into the ordinary. A year later, I’m no clearer about my life’s intended purpose, but I’m content to reside in uncertainty. To embrace purposelessness.
In the interim, I uncover meaning by nurturing my character through my values. Courage, tenderness, and depth hold significance for me. Thus, I employ daily challenges and activities to exercise these values.
Tenderness encourages me to soften my inner self, staying receptive despite hardships. I cultivate it by consistently approaching others compassionately, especially those who challenge me. Self-compassion, allowing vulnerability when strength falters, is also part of this practice.
Courage, for me, extends beyond confronting fears. It involves listening to my heart and speaking my truth. Fostering courage exposed me to nerve-racking scenarios like quitting an unfulfilling job. Confronting such situations fortified me, empowering life choices aligned with my true self.
Lastly, depth in my life involves delving into enriching experiences. Instead of endless social media scrolling, I dive into captivating books. Revisiting cherished places replaces globe-trotting. Exploring familiar cities deeply, extracting every ounce of essence, provides profound travel experiences.
Nurturing these values offers opportunities for personal growth in every moment. As I decipher life’s “why,” my values guide the “how.” Unlike a fixed purpose, I can experiment and adapt my value set at will.
Someday, I might stumble upon my purpose or, in my later years, realize I’d been living it all along. For now, I’m curious to experience life unfolding, anchoring meaning in values.
If you’re feeling lost, remember, it’s okay to sit with that feeling. No need to rush a 15-minute fix. By approaching each day openly and embracing possibilities, your path will brim with meaning and wonder, even without the elusive concept of purpose.
