“The Power of Your Questions: Unveiling Life’s True Quality” ~Tony Robbins
Naturally, I’m inclined towards action—moving, going, pushing forward. Slowing down isn’t my forte; it demands patience I often lack. Paradoxically, I’ve realized that rushing often leads to more confusion.
One day, I was inundated by questions. What initially started as a simple idea of me residing in a compact mobile home escalated into a grand venture of constructing an entire tiny house community.
Fresh from a cross-country drive with a 29-foot Airstream trailer (a debut eBay purchase), another tiny house in construction, and a third to be collected, things were in motion. Yet, an internal doubt urged me to halt.
A relentless query echoed within: “Will this really work?”
Finally, I surrendered, sat down, and started writing.
I jotted down not only that question but also every related and unrelated query whirling within the cloud of uncertainty in my mind.
In that instant, I discovered a personal ritual that’s since served me well whenever I’m adrift, doubtful, or unsure of my path. This practice aids me in taking deliberate strides towards my goals, and its essence is quite simple: I transform my questions from stressors into empowering beacons.
We all share a common yearning—clarity. Integrity and purpose drive our desire to move ahead.
Whether life seems as wild as a roller coaster or as smooth as a serene stream, there’s one constant: you’ll continually engage in self-questioning.
My personal belief is that when you’re stretching yourself to grow and pursue dreams, your mind will host more than a few queries. At times, they might even dominate your thoughts throughout the day.
Questions aren’t inherently detrimental; they can help us delve deeper, uncovering what’s essential for progress—provided they’re the right questions.
Often, we undermine ourselves by asking questions that erode confidence in our ability to accomplish necessary tasks.
Some undermining questions include:
- Will this actually work?
- Why can’t I solve this puzzle?
- What’s flawed about me?
- Why does everyone else seem to have it easier?
- How do I manipulate people into thinking/doing xyz?
The issue with these questions lies in their tendency to place you in a mindset of victimhood or scarcity, instead of empowering you to take charge and responsibility.
Here’s how to identify an undermining question:
- It makes you feel bad. Empowering questions can be challenging, but they won’t demolish your self-esteem. An undermining question prompts self-criticism, either directed towards yourself, others, or your circumstances. Conversely, an empowering question helps you identify patterns contributing to challenges and offers solutions.
Transforming an undermining question is as simple as flipping it around. For example, alter “What’s wrong with me?” to “What’s right with me?” or “How can I improve?” This shift directs focus to your strengths, achievements, and avenues for growth.
- It can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” Ironically, though questions are meant to clarify, a mere “yes” or “no” response often falls short. Your question arose because the situation is more intricate than that. While quick answers provide comfort in the face of uncertainty, deeper exploration yields greater power.
To convert an undermining question into an empowering one, opt for queries that necessitate thoughtful responses. For instance, instead of asking, “Will this work?” transform it into “How can this work?” This rephrasing assumes success and challenges you to figure out the “how.”
- It relinquishes power to someone else, not you. Even seasoned personal development enthusiasts sometimes slip into scenarios where they surrender control to others. When we pose questions about others’ opinions or methods to influence them, we place the responsibility outside our sphere of influence.
Converting such undermining questions into empowering ones involves refocusing on yourself. For instance, reframe “How can I make them do what I want?” to “What actions will help me achieve my goals?” This redirects the power to your actions and choices.
Shifting undermining questions to empowering ones can foster peace, expansion, and clarity. Answering these self-directed inquiries often feels like unloading a heavy burden from your mind.
Try this Exercise… Follow these simple steps to offload, examine, and find answers within your questions: Step 1: Unload Grab your journal and pour out every question circling your mind—about your work, business, relationships, life. Write until you’ve exhausted your queries and find yourself reiterating.
Step 2: Examine Review your questions. Do any undermine your confidence? If so, reshape them into empowering queries using the methods outlined.
Step 3: Answer For the remaining questions, journal your personal responses. Write without overthinking, let your thoughts flow freely.
You can repeat this process as needed. I’ve found it grants clarity for substantial periods and bolsters my confidence, providing a reliable approach whenever I feel adrift.