“When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
Imagine this: you’re having a heartfelt conversation with someone close, and their gaze keeps drifting to their phone. They nod vaguely, but it’s clear their mind is elsewhere. You’ve been there, right? It’s like talking to a wall, and it’s not a great feeling.
I remember a dinner with friends four years ago. I’d returned from a year of backpacking in New Zealand, eager to reconnect. We had plans of laughter, hugs, and sharing stories. But the evening took an unexpected turn. The culprit? Our smartphones.
We sat glued to screens, missing out on the joy of each other’s company. At first, I blamed my friends, but soon I realized I was equally guilty. This experience led me to make a vow: to be more present with those around me.
Fast forward to today, and while I’ve made progress, the battle to be present persists. Technology certainly plays a role, but the real challenge lies within our minds. Our thoughts, like unruly alarms, divert our attention even when we’re physically present.
Picture this: you’re sitting across from someone, yet mentally miles away, consumed by thoughts unrelated to the conversation. The mind races, leaving the person in front of us unheard. Instead of truly listening, we’re lost in our own musings.
The good news is, we can improve this. Small steps can make a world of difference in cultivating true presence:
1. Eye Contact: Windows to the Soul
Engaging eye contact signals that you’re genuinely listening. It conveys respect and connection, letting the other person know they matter.
2. Listen to Understand, Not Respond
Shift your focus from planning your reply to genuinely understanding their words and feelings. This empathy enhances connections.
3. Limit Distractions
Power down the phone. Remember the days when landlines were our lifelines? Embrace that simplicity and let the world wait.
4. Facial Expressions Speak Volumes
When you truly empathize, your facial expressions reflect it. This nonverbal communication conveys understanding and support.
In a few weeks, I’ll reunite with family for the first Christmas in years. Around the world, families gather, yet often their attention drifts. This year, let’s break that pattern. Let’s play board games, share stories, and truly connect—emotionally and spiritually.
Remember, presence isn’t reserved for holidays; every conversation offers a chance to forge deeper connections. This season, gift your loved ones something priceless: your undivided attention. In a world of distractions, your presence is a treasure beyond compare. This holiday season, give the gift of being present.
